Louis L'Amour Quote

To make democracy work, we must be a notion of participants, not simply observers. One who does not vote has no right to complain. Louis L'Amour

We've all been here.......

This is my first post by someone else. Keep them Coming!

Dear Cretins,

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up foryour 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During thisthree-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I hadnot previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidityof monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details,so that you can either pursue your professional perogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the workingday smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website. The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later,although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools -such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my cable modemhad still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modemarrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.I estimate your internet server's downtime is roughly 35%... hoursbetween about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend. I amstill waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on mymobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to avariety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highlyskilled bollock jugglers.I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someonewill call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someonewill call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knowswhether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off);that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to ananswer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will betransferred to someone and then been redirected to the irritatingScottish robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least athousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, Frankly I don'tcare, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustration'sin print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me,therefore, if I continue.I thought BT were s.it, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of godawfulcustomer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be moredisinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service totheir customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn'tanyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discoveredto my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a uselessshower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces ofdistended rectum incompetents of the highest order.British Telecom - w..nkers though they are - shine like brilliant beaconsof success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitlessinadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile andfoolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest thatyou cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me forthe services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed todeliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity anddisbelief quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemusedrage. I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from mycats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt forboth you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have notbecome desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at thetime of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you didnot experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider themthe very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and its worthlessemployees.Have a nice day

TPS REPORTS

Ever watch the movie "Office Space"? It's a great 90's cult comedy flick that was written and directed by Mike Judge. There are some great one liners in this movie that you can definitely use through out your day to ease the tensions and add a little humor to your life. Whether you work in a computer field, a mortgage company, or a if you have a cubicle and aren't really sure what your company really does you can relate with this film. Here's a prime example the other day I get an e-mail from my boss. You know the one I'm talking about, the one that has been forwarded from one person to another until it finally ends up in your inbox for your action. The problem with this is that a few of the people in the e-mail chain don't initially read the message, but when they do, they realize it should ultimately arrive in my inbox. So here's what happens, Monday I get the e-mail from my boss, I take action issue resolved. (should be end of story right? Wrong!) Tuesday, I get the exact same e-mail forwarded from someone else. My response is to politely reply that I have previously received the e-mail and the issue is resolved. Wednesday, I get another forward, this time I ignore it. Than on the same day I get another one. and about 2 minutes later of course another one(see a pattern?) . So now I've not only gotten this e-mail from the original source but also forwarded from my boss and a few other people who feel it necessary to assert their authority. So here's my response to the last e-mail, it's my way of dealing with it, a simple classic line from "OFFICE SPACE". "Did you get that memo about the TPS reports?" Of course I get a confused questioned response. So again I reply with another classic line "Yeah. It's just we're putting new cover sheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. " Nothing else in the body of the e-mail, only that one line. I receive no response and no other forwards of the e-mail. What i do get is the sound of laughter emanating from the office across the hall. Which I can only assume is my colleague finally understanding what I'm talking about. Now if i can only find a way to work in this line "Not right now, Lumbergh, I'm kinda busy. In fact, look, I'm gonna have to ask you to just go ahead and come back another time. I got a meeting with the Bobs in a couple of minutes."

Left Lane Drivers

Ok here's my first complaint on this Blog. I'll try to keep it interesting. I hope someone sympathizes with me :-) Of course one of the biggest frustrations I have is driving on the Highways and roadways around here. It seems that every who lives in the southeast portion of the U.S. thinks that the left lane(which if your from the North is the passing lane a.k.a "the fast lane"!) is for going slow. Now don't get me wrong I truly enjoy the slow pace of the south, but when it comes to driving ,wow!, are some people around here clueless. Take for instance the person who gets in the left lane , puts their left turn signal on(with the intention of turning), slows down to 30 mph (in a 55 mph zone) and than continues in the left lane for another 2 miles. What's going on with that? What could possibily compel a driver to do that? Safety? If you ask me they're only creating traffic problems. Oh and than there's the driver who can't talk on their cell phone and drive the speed limit! So what do they do? Yeah you guessed it! They get in the left lane, slow down to at leat 20 mph under the speed limit and talk the drive away! UUUGHHH! So if you're one of those drivers that sits happily in the left lane with an empty lane to your right follow this "unspoken" rule for all left lane drivers."If you see me approching you from behind, MOVE OVER, I'm not flashing my lights to try and get your number! Check out this website www.driverightpassleft.com